Your name is DAVE STRIDER, but you've long since given up fighting for that name. Now, you are called DAVESPRITE, or, sometimes, DAVE SPRITE. You're not sure what the difference is, but apparently it's a PRETTY BIG DEAL to a guy that used to be your best friend. You are FIFTEEN years old.
A while ago, you were helping your friends win a game, but you were UNABLE TO ESCAPE YOUR SESSION with them, and found yourself FORCED BACK into a decaying and abandoned medium with the other sprites from your session not lucky enough to become REAL again.
You're very good at telling yourself you're not bitter.